Blog Post by Murat Yaşar


Posted on Friday, December 18, 2009 9:56:23 AM and it has been read 1763 times since then.


Never be late

I want to say that it had come to me in Turkish. Actually I read it somewhere. It did not come from anywhere. I mean I did not receive it via e-mail. Anyway, I decided to try to translate it into English as much as I could. There must be some other ways to express some feelings or expressions in this story. As I said, I tried. I hope you understand the story at least.
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10th class:
There was a girl who was sitting next to me in the English class. I was calling for her that she was my best friend...but as a matter of fact, I want her to be mine while I was looking of her silky hair... She does not think about me like I think about her. She sees me as a friend. Good one. I know this is the only fact. After one class, she stood up from her seat and came towards to me, asked for the notes that belongs to previous day's lesson's. She did not write the notes down in the class on that day because of her absence from the class. She kissed me on my cheek and thanked to me after I gave her the notes. I wanted her to know that I did not want her only as a friend. I loved her very much but I was not able to say this reality to her. I did not know the reason but I was too shy...

11th class:
My phone rang. She was crying on the phone while she was trying to tell me how much she get hurt becasue of her feelings about someone. She asked for that if I am able to come to her house ? She did not want to stay alone. I went her house. I sat beside her on the couch. I started to look at her beautiful eyes. I wanted her to be mine. After 2 hours, a film started on TV. It was one of Drew Barrymore's movies. We watched it together. She decided to sleep after we watched the movie. She thanked to me for everything and kissed me on my cheek. I wanted her to know that I do not want only her friendship. I love her very much but I was not able to say this fact to her. I did not know the reason but I was too shy...

The final year in the school:
We had promised each other when we were in the 7th class that if there was no one go out with, we would have gone to the parties together. As a best friend of course... She came to me and asked if we might have gone to the prom together. Her partner was ill and he would not have been able to go to the party with her. I did not have any partner to go to the prom either. According to our promise, we could go to he party together and we did. I went to the party with her as her best friend. Everything was good at that night in the party. I dropped her off at her house after the party. I looked at her eyes and she replied with her beautiful eyes with smiling. I have been wanting her to be mine... but I also knew that she was not thinking about me as same as I was thinking about her. She said that she had had the most beautiful time in her life ever. She kissed me on my cheek. I wanted her to know that I do not want her only as a friend. I loved her very much but I was not able to say this fact to her. I did not know the reason but I was too shy...

Time passed by and finally the day of graduation came.

I watched her continuously. She was like an angel gliding in the sky, while she was going to the stage to get her diploma. She had come over to me before everyone went their house, hugged me and put her head on my shoulder while she was crying and saying that "You are my best friend. Thanks for everything.". She kissed me on my cheek and gone away.

Years passed by after that occasion...

I was in a church watching her wedding ceremony... yes, she was getting married with someone else. I watched her, saying yes I do and entering new life with another man. I want her to be mine... but she did not think about me like I do. I know this fact. Before she entered her new life, came to me and said "Thanks for coming to my wedding ceremony," and kissed me on my cheek. I desperately want her to know that I did not want her only as a friend. Although I have been loving her, I could not tell her and I did not know why but I was too shy...

Years passed by very quickly...

I am looking at the coffin right now. Inside it lying a girl who was my best friend. While her belongings had been gathering, the diary came to light which was written by her... I immediately took the diary and read those lines from it;

"I looked at his eyes and wished him to be mine... but I know he does not look at me like I do. I want him to know that I did not only want him as a friend, I love him but I am not able to tell him. I do not know why but I am too shy... I wish, he had told me that he loves me once..."


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